C'mon, Do Gluconeogenesis

Your hemoglobin is totally cheating on oxygen! The meme perfectly captures the molecular drama happening in your blood. Hemoglobin normally binds with oxygen to deliver it throughout your body, but carbon monoxide is the ultimate homewrecker - it binds to hemoglobin 200-250 times more strongly than oxygen does! That's why carbon monoxide poisoning is so dangerous - your red blood cells are basically saying "new molecule, who dis?" to oxygen while they run off with carbon monoxide. Poor oxygen just standing there watching the betrayal unfold like a molecular soap opera!

The graph shows transport efficiency (calories per gram per kilometer) vs body weight for various creatures and vehicles. And then there's that genius comment: "Imagine how efficient a salmon on a bicycle would be." Looking at the data points, a cyclist is already super efficient at ~0.15 cal/g/km, while salmon sit at ~0.45 cal/g/km. Combining their powers would create the ultimate transportation revolution! Just picture a salmon pedaling away with its tail, water splashing everywhere. The ultimate eco-friendly commute solution nobody asked for but everyone secretly needs. Finally, a practical use for all those upstream swimming muscles! NASA engineers are probably kicking themselves for missing this obvious breakthrough in biomechanical efficiency.

The Western Blot—a 12-hour procedure that somehow takes 3 days of your life. First, extract your samples with the precision of a neurosurgeon. Then run your gel while maintaining perfect posture because apparently slouching causes band distortion. Transfer your proteins to the membrane (treat it like it costs more than your tuition because it does). Perform 47 washes while questioning your career choices. Finally, develop your blot to reveal... absolutely nothing. The void stares back. Time to rest your face on the lab bench and contemplate a career in literally anything else. The real protein of interest was the depression we developed along the way.

This embroidery masterpiece is literally stitching together microbiology humor! The pink hoop showcases four microscopic killers with the savage caption "what doesn't kill you mutates and tries again." That bacteriophage (the spider-looking thing with the geometric head) is basically nature's ninja assassin for bacteria. Meanwhile, that red bacillus, green cactus-looking bacterium, and blue-centered cell are just waiting for their evolutionary power-up to bypass your immune system's defenses. It's basically Darwin's theory but with more stabby intentions. Microbes: failing to kill you since 3.5 billion years ago... but they're persistent little monsters!

That biology professor deserves a Nobel Prize for teaching! 🏆 Using your tragic nightclub experiences to explain speciation mechanisms? *chef's kiss* Behavioral isolation happens when two potential species can't mate because their courtship behaviors don't match up - just like your sad dance moves that scream "I WANT TO REPRODUCE" but translate as "PLEASE CALL AN AMBULANCE." The ice cream and vodka aftermath? That's just natural selection weeding out your dance genes from the pool. Evolution works in mysterious ways!

Someone finally found the vehicle that powers all our cellular respiration. The license plate could literally read C₆H₁₂O₆, and no one would question it. Imagine pulling up to the lab in this and watching your colleagues' faces as they realize you're literally driving the molecular structure that fuels their morning coffee addiction. Sweet ride, terrible gas mileage though—burns through ATP like nobody's business.