We're Still Waiting For Planet Nine

The ultimate cosmic dilemma for space nerds! Take the red pill and you'll make the hypothetical Dyson sphere (a megastructure that captures a star's energy) real—potentially solving Earth's energy crisis forever. Or take the blue pill and restore tiny Pluto's planetary dignity after its heartbreaking 2006 demotion to "dwarf planet" status. Both choices trigger passionate astronomical debates, but neither will help you explain to your family what you actually do for a living. The hardest decisions require the strongest wills... and apparently, questionable pill-taking habits.

Just when you thought we'd escaped flat Earth theories, someone's now questioning the moon's geometry! The exasperated "Don't" response perfectly captures how astronomers feel every time celestial bodies get geometrically challenged. Fun fact: we've known the moon is spherical since ancient Greece when people noticed its circular shadow during lunar eclipses. Even with modern technology sending back thousands of images from multiple angles, conspiracy theorists still find ways to question established science. The mental gymnastics required to believe in a flat moon would win gold medals if Olympic events included "Ignoring Observable Reality."

Talk about an overachiever! The Chicxulub impactor didn't just wipe out non-avian dinosaurs—it literally holds the cosmic record for most efficient bird extinction event. That 10-15km chunk of space rock eliminated approximately 75% of all species on Earth in one catastrophic afternoon 66 million years ago. Birds are technically dinosaurs, so this celestial "stone" managed to kill billions of prehistoric feathered creatures in one apocalyptic swoop. The ultimate dark twist on the "kill two birds with one stone" idiom, except replace "two" with "countless billions." Nature's efficiency can be absolutely terrifying!

This is pure mathematical savagery from the Interstellar crew! While they're on a planet with extreme time dilation (where one hour equals seven Earth years), one astronaut suggests they just chill there until mathematicians solve the Collatz conjecture—a famously unsolved math problem that's been driving researchers crazy since 1937. The beauty here is that the Collatz conjecture might be unsolvable, meaning they'd be waiting... forever? Talk about a cosmic-scale procrastination technique! Mathematicians have been banging their heads against this seemingly simple number sequence problem for decades with no solution in sight. These astronauts just found the ultimate excuse to avoid their mission deadlines!

Fascinating. Someone who thinks the absence of atmospheric light scattering is evidence of a film studio. Next they'll tell us astronauts float because they're hanging from invisible strings. The irony is that without an atmosphere to scatter light, you'd expect exactly what we see - a bright sun against a black backdrop. But sure, NASA hired Stanley Kubrick to fake the moon landing and he insisted on shooting on location.

Someone's been watching too many flat-Earth documentaries while studying cosmology! The Cosmic Microwave Background isn't some cosmic ocean you can sail to—it's literally the oldest light in the universe, radiation left over from about 380,000 years after the Big Bang. It's EVERYWHERE, surrounding us in all directions like a cosmic baby photo. Trying to sail to the "edge" of the CMB is like trying to sail to the edge of time itself! Next they'll be asking if we can take selfies with the Big Bang! 🤪