Never Ask An Astrophysicist About Gravity

Behold the three conversational black holes of the universe! While salary and age questions might make people uncomfortable, unleash the cosmic chaos by asking an astrophysicist about gravity anomalies at large scales. Their eyes will light up like supernovas as they launch into a 3-hour lecture on dark matter, modified Newtonian dynamics, and why Einstein's equations might need tweaking. You'll be trapped in their gravitational pull of enthusiasm with absolutely no escape velocity! Trust me, I've made this mistake at university parties and suddenly found myself drawing spacetime diagrams on napkins until sunrise.