I Do Not Twinkle You Mere Mortal Beings! Fear Me!

Google search suggestions trying to convert a light year to "years," "earth years," and "seconds" is the astronomical equivalent of trying to convert meters to pounds. Einstein and Hawking are literally having to be restrained from launching into a physics rage. A light year is distance , people—specifically 9.46 trillion kilometers that light travels in a year. Next thing you know, someone will be asking how many calories are in a parsec.

Content Both shapes have the same number of holes. Try it yourself. Start with a cube of playdo. Take a chopstick and push it through until it pokes out. Expand each hole. Repeat until each face has a hole. You only need to poke 5 holes in the cube to create the final shape. The first poke creates an opening in the top and bottom. Each following poke adds a hole to one of the 4 side faces.

The agony of holiday science conversations captured in four painful panels! The relative confidently questions why space photos lack stars (a common conspiracy talking point), while the exhausted scientist tries explaining light pollution. When the relative doubles down with "light isn't a physical thing, it can't cause pollution," you can practically feel the scientist's soul leaving their body. Light pollution is actually the excessive artificial light that drowns out celestial objects in our night sky. But the real issue here is the space photos conspiracy theory - NASA images often use exposure settings optimized for their main subject (like the Moon or spacewalking astronauts), making stars too dim to capture. The same reason you can't see stars in daylight photos! The desperate "Auntie please" is the universal cry of scientists everywhere who just wanted to enjoy their turkey in peace.

Imagine being an advanced civilization with technology we can't even comprehend, chilling 2049 light years away, and suddenly your alien astronomers detect a rogue manhole cover breaking your planet's atmosphere at hypersonic speeds. Plot twist: it's just human engineering gone hilariously wrong! This references the 1957 Pascal-B nuclear test where a steel manhole cover was accidentally launched at an estimated 125,000 mph (potentially 5-6 times escape velocity). Scientists believe it might be the fastest human-made object ever and could have actually escaped Earth's gravity. Somewhere in the cosmos, there's probably a confused alien filling out paperwork about "unidentified flying infrastructure."

Physics has all these elegant equations describing reality, but cosmic inflation? That's just "Rule 34" - if it exists, there's an equation for it. The universe expanded faster than my grad students disappear when there are dishes in the lab sink. Those fancy formulas scattered across space are just physicists showing off that they can make the universe's expansion look mathematically sexy. Meanwhile, dark energy is sitting in the corner like "you haven't even figured me out yet, amateurs."

The cosmic irony of Earth exploration priorities! We've mapped Mars from orbit with enough detail to spot ancient water streams, yet we've barely scratched the surface of our own oceans. 76% of our blue planet remains a mystery while we're out here analyzing dust particles on another world. Fun fact: We've mapped the entire surface of Venus, Mercury, and the Moon at higher resolutions than our ocean floor. Those sunken treasures and aviation mysteries? They'll stay hidden while we're busy counting craters on Mars. Scientific priorities at their finest!