Astrophysics Degree: To Infinity And Unemployment

The comic brilliantly plays on astronomical facts with religious terminology. Mars (the red planet) has only two moons, Phobos and Deimos, while Jupiter has a staggering 95 confirmed moons. The "Catholic" reference is a clever nod to large families traditionally associated with Catholicism. In the final panel, Jupiter looks absolutely overwhelmed by its excessive lunar offspring. Classic case of astronomical birth control failure.

Mind = BLOWN! That moment when your brain short-circuits because the mighty RS-25 engines—capable of launching humans to SPACE—are basically just fancy teakettles! 🚀💦 These engineering marvels burn hydrogen with oxygen to create... wait for it... STEAM! That's right! The same stuff coming out of your morning coffee is what's propelling a 2,000-ton spacecraft into orbit at 17,500 mph. The universe runs on irony and H₂O, my friends! Next time someone asks what powers space travel, just tell them "spicy water" and watch their expression match this meme perfectly!

Contemplating the cosmic timeline while your boss freaks out about 15 minutes? Classic perspective problem! The top panel casually drops that our Sun will become a frozen black dwarf at 5 Kelvin... in a mere quadrillion years. Meanwhile, you're enjoying a sunset that will happen billions of times before that cosmic refrigeration. Your boss's time-scale anxiety suddenly seems hilarious when you realize the universe operates on a schedule where a billion years is basically a cosmic coffee break. Next time they mention your tardiness, just say you're operating on stellar time standards where your 15 minutes is mathematically rounded to zero.

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Imagine Aristotle rage-tweeting from the afterlife! Poor guy is having an existential meltdown because modern scientists are questioning something he "settled" 2300 years ago. He's like that friend who insists they discovered a band first, except with COSMOLOGY! 🤣 The universe doesn't actually have a center because it's expanding in all directions like a cosmic soufflé - every point is moving away from every other point. Aristotle's geocentric model was neat and tidy, but turns out the universe is more like my lab after an experiment gone wrong - chaotic, expanding, and impossible to find the starting point!

From casual strolling to COSMIC ZOOMING! That last panel is showing off Metis, Jupiter's innermost moon, which orbits the gas giant at a mind-melting 31.5 kilometers per SECOND. That's 70,000 mph! Your morning jog could never compete with this celestial speedster that completes an entire orbit in just 7 hours. Even light itself is like "dang, that's pretty quick!" Next time someone brags about their marathon time, just casually mention you're more of a "Metis orbital speed" kind of exerciser.