This Story Is True

The expanding brain meme perfectly captures the mathematician's descent into madness. Starting with "direct proof" (basic skull), we progress through increasingly galaxy-brain methods until we reach the final boss: "proof by lack of counterexample" – which is basically saying "I can't think of why I'm wrong, so I must be right." Every math professor has witnessed the horror of a student writing "clearly" or "obviously" before the most convoluted statement imaginable. And don't get me started on "proof is left as an exercise to the reader" – the academic equivalent of "figure it out yourself, I'm going to lunch." It's what professors do when they either can't solve it themselves or are too lazy to write out all the steps. Pure mathematical terrorism.

The eternal clash between physics and pure mathematics in one perfect frame! Physicists will casually toss out approximations, drop constants, and round π to 3 if it makes their equations work. Meanwhile, mathematicians are having minor heart attacks watching their pristine theorems get mangled in the name of "good enough." The look of absolute horror says it all - "No, no, you can't just say sin(x) ≈ x for small angles and call it a day!" The divide between pragmatic problem-solving and mathematical purity continues to traumatize interdepartmental meetings everywhere.

Congratulations! You've successfully upgraded from washing dishes at home to washing glassware in a lab at triple the education cost. The irony is exquisite - spend 4+ years and thousands in tuition to stand at a sink scrubbing beakers instead of dinner plates. The only difference? Now you're wearing a fancy white coat while doing it and the stuff you're washing off might give you a chemical burn or two. Progress! The universal truth of laboratory science that no professor mentions in their shiny recruitment presentations: 90% of your time will be spent cleaning equipment. The other 10%? Setting up experiments that create more dirty glassware.

The classic "well, actually" guy gets absolutely demolished by chemistry facts! Trying to sound smart by calling salt "sodium chloride" backfires spectacularly when someone points out table salt contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate to prevent iodine deficiency. The scientific smackdown is brutal—like bringing a molecular model to a knife fight. Next time you want to flex your chemistry knowledge at the dinner table, remember: being technically correct isn't always the seasoning for success!

This sacred document exposes the dark arts physicists have been hiding for centuries! The right to "squint" at complex problems? That's just code for "I have no idea what I'm doing but will pretend otherwise." My personal favorite is the divine right to call anything we don't understand "unphysical" — basically the academic equivalent of taking your ball and going home when you're losing. And let's appreciate the beautiful hierarchy where physicists get to look down on "lower scientists" while mumbling gibberish when cornered. We're not making things up — we're "inventing fictitious forces" and "choosing convenient initial conditions." It's not laziness, it's the "principle of general triviality!" Next time your calculations don't add up, just declare dimensional inconsistency irrelevant because you're only interested in "order of magnitude." Physics: where being approximately wrong is exactly right!

The mathematical hierarchy of suffering! Someone circled all the advanced math functions on a scientific calculator and labeled them "the most useless buttons." Engineers and math majors everywhere just felt a disturbance in the force. Those buttons—logarithms, trigonometric functions, square roots—are literally what separates "I can add numbers" from "I can calculate orbital trajectories." It's like calling a surgeon's scalpel useless because you only need scissors to cut paper. The irony is that these "useless" functions built modern civilization, from bridges to smartphones. But sure, let's stick to addition and subtraction!