The Unfiltered Truth About Becoming A Doctor

The chemistry department civil war continues! 🧪⚔️ Someone finally called out the organic chemistry snobs with their carbon-based superiority complex! The periodic table has 118 elements, but organic chemists act like carbon is the only one that matters. Meanwhile, inorganic chemists are sitting there with the entire rest of the periodic table like "are we a joke to you?" The truth hurts so much that if those organic chemistry students could read past their reaction mechanisms, they'd be storming the department with pitchforks and molecular models! 😂 Fun fact: The entire universe is 98% "inorganic" elements by mass. Take THAT, carbon compounds!

Chemists looking at physicists whining about Nobel Prizes is like watching someone complain about a paper cut while standing next to someone who's been repeatedly stabbed! 🧪 Poor chemists have watched the Physics Nobel go to astronomers, biologists, and computer scientists while they're over here synthesizing 47,000 compounds just to get a nomination. Chemistry is the scientific equivalent of that friend who keeps getting ghosted on dating apps! "First time?" Indeed! Meanwhile, Alfred Nobel himself was a chemist! The ultimate family betrayal - like dad leaving his fortune to the neighbor's kids! 🧪💔

Behold, the duality of engineering! At the top, we have the "Regular Engineers" (portrayed by Potter and Weasley) screaming in terror when something goes wrong. Below, the "'It Only Needs To Work Once' Engineers" represented by a sinister Tom with that devilish grin that says "consequences are someone else's problem." After 40 years in the field, I've seen both types. The meticulous ones who triple-check everything, and the chaos agents who build rockets with duct tape and optimism. The latter are usually found in startups or final-year projects approximately 12 hours before the deadline. Remember the Mars Climate Orbiter that crashed because someone mixed up metric and imperial units? That's what happens when you let the "it only needs to work once" crowd near space hardware.

The infamous "spherical cow" approximation strikes again, but with a feline twist. In physics, we routinely commit mathematical atrocities by reducing complex objects to perfect spheres just to make the math tractable. Sure, your cat might have legs, a tail, and a personality that defies Euclidean geometry, but in our equations? Perfect sphere. Next week: frictionless cats on perfectly flat surfaces. The differential equations practically solve themselves.

Nothing says "detached from reality" quite like solving eigenvalue problems while civilization collapses. That's math nerds for you—the world could literally be ending and they'd still be like "but wait, I need to finish transforming this matrix into diagonal form!" The beautiful irony of focusing on bringing order to abstract mathematical structures while actual human structures are falling into chaos. Priorities, people!

Regular humans see a simple toy with colorful rings. Mathematicians see the Tower of Hanoi problem—a recursive algorithm nightmare that haunts their dreams! What looks like innocent stacking is actually a classic mathematical puzzle requiring 2 n -1 moves to solve optimally. Next time someone hands you this "children's toy," remember you're holding a computational complexity beast disguised in primary colors.