The Peer Review Time Warp

The academic publishing timeline - where careers evolve faster than peer reviews! That skeleton isn't just sitting there; it's actively decomposing while waiting for reviewer #2 to finish those "minor revisions." The half-life of radioactive elements is more predictable than journal response times. Scientists can map the human genome, split atoms, and photograph black holes, but somehow a 6-month review timeline means "see you next geological epoch." Meanwhile, your references are becoming archaeological artifacts themselves. The true test of scientific immortality isn't your research - it's surviving long enough to see it published!