The Natural Selection Of Lecture Hall Seating

The natural habitat of academic species, perfectly mapped! The lecture hall seating chart is basically evolutionary psychology in action. The side dwellers ("no friends") are practicing social distancing before it was cool. The front-row question-askers are ensuring professors remember their faces come grading time. The middle-row "secret lap-dance enjoyers" have mastered the art of making others awkwardly shimmy past them—it's basically a power move. And let's not forget the back-row confused souls who are essentially paying thousands in tuition to experience education as a distant rumor. The beautiful thing? We all eventually migrate between these territories throughout our academic career. Darwin would be proud of this seating selection pressure!