The Growing Inaccessibility Of Accessibility Articles

Ever had that moment in math class when the professor spends 45 minutes proving something that seems ridiculously self-evident? That's the Jordan Curve Theorem in a nutshell! Some brilliant mathematician finally snapped and created the most honest proof in academic history. "It's a closed loop. Of course there's going to be an outside and inside." Revolutionary stuff, folks! The funny part? This "trivial ass" theorem actually requires complex topology to prove formally. Mathematicians spent decades developing the rigorous proof while the rest of us were just drawing circles and saying "duh, inside and outside." Next up in the academic journal: groundbreaking proof that water is wet and the sky appears blue under certain atmospheric conditions.

Holy differential equations! Looks like the Vatican's talent acquisition team is branching out! When your religious leader has a Bachelor's in Mathematics, you know those collection plate calculations are going to be precise . Imagine solving for sin in more ways than one! The ultimate proof that you can worship both God and Gauss simultaneously. Next time someone asks "What would Jesus do?" this pope can respond with "Let me calculate that for you."

Remember when chemists would casually handle carcinogens like they were water? The old guard is out here calling new chemists "stupid" while they're the ones who licked radioactive elements and sniffed unknown compounds like it was a competitive sport. Carbon tetrachloride was literally used as a cleaning agent before people realized it destroys your liver and kidneys. But sure, we're the stupid ones for using fume hoods and gloves. Nothing says "genius scientist" like shortened lifespans and mysterious organ failures!

Precision instruments? Never heard of them. In physics lab, students break out the micrometer—an actual precision tool designed for accurate measurements—and somehow still get an 8% error. Meanwhile, the professor grabs a $1 store ruler and nails it with 1% error. It's almost as if years of experience trump fancy equipment. The universal law of lab work: the more expensive your tool, the more spectacular your failure will be.

Someone spent hours crafting a portrait of Carl Friedrich Gauss using parametric equations, only to casually admit "blatantly stolen from wolfram alpha btw." The mathematical flex is real—creating Gauss's face with the very tools he helped pioneer. It's like painting Einstein with E=mc² or drawing Darwin with evolutionary algorithms. The confession at the end is just *chef's kiss*—peak mathematician humor where the crime is admitted in the footnotes, just like how we all cite sources after "borrowing" entire theoretical frameworks.

The duality of physics students! Left side: pure joy when calculating the distance traveled using a velocity-time graph (just find the area under the curve - easy peasy). Right side: existential crisis mode when faced with a displacement-time graph (wait... what even IS area here?). The realization that these two concepts are fundamentally different hits harder than Newton's apple. One gives you actual distance, the other some weird squared units that make you question your entire education.