Rest In Publications

The greatest mathematical dad joke in history! Newton and Leibniz both claimed to invent calculus in the 17th century, sparking one of science's most famous priority disputes. The punchline? It was a bit derivative ! 🤓 Get it? Because derivatives are a fundamental concept in calculus AND because Leibniz's work could be seen as derived from Newton's (or vice versa, depending who you ask). The math history burn that took 350 years to land!

The eternal meta-struggle of the STEM spouse relationship. One partner desperately tries to explain why partial differential equations are hilarious in that new engineering meme, while their significant other maintains the blank stare of someone who'd rather watch paint dry. The calculus jokes that keep you up at night laughing are apparently not universal currency in relationships. Who knew that explaining why the integral of e^x is still e^x would be met with such indifference? Relationships: where your brilliant mathematical humor goes to die.

Every chemistry student knows the pain of this meme in their bones . You're cruising through your textbook, thinking you've mastered the octet rule or orbital hybridization, when suddenly—BAM!—your professor throws in some bizarre exception that was briefly mentioned in chapter 3. "Remember that footnote on page 47 about d-orbital participation in period 3 elements? It's the key to this entire exam!" Meanwhile, your brain is frantically searching for this needle in the haystack of information while the green exception frog gleefully leaps through your carefully constructed understanding of chemical principles. The worst part? These exceptions aren't just trivia—they're usually the foundation for the next three chapters! Chemistry doesn't just break rules; it makes breaking rules an art form.

The ultimate academic irony! Getting an egyptology degree, then spending more money on a PhD just to teach others egyptology... making higher education literally a pyramid scheme! 😂 The punchline is absolutely brilliant because it works on multiple levels - the educational hierarchy forms a pyramid shape (few professors at top, many students at bottom), while also connecting perfectly to the Egyptian subject matter. Talk about being trapped in academic quicksand without a hieroglyphic instruction manual! Meanwhile, the pharaohs of academia keep collecting tuition treasure while their graduates search for that elusive tomb of employment.

While normies waste money on fancy vacations, romantic dinners, wild parties, and gaming setups, us lab rats are busy funding the universe's most expensive glass-breaking symphony! 💸 Nothing says "financial responsibility" quite like watching your entire stipend shatter into a million pieces because you sneezed near a $300 volumetric flask. That distinctive *clink* sound? That's the sound of your security deposit evaporating! Pro tip: When your PI asks where the budget went, just mumble something about "sacrifices to the science gods" and back away slowly. Works every time!

EUREKA! Someone finally "solved" infinity! *maniacal laughter* This mathematical madness takes a perfectly valid formula for summing finite numbers and then applies it to infinity with the subtlety of a wrecking ball! The proof starts with a correct formula, then veers into the mathematical twilight zone by claiming that 1+2+3+... equals -1/12 (which is actually a famous result in string theory, but NOT in the way shown here). Then it performs quadratic formula gymnastics to "calculate" infinity as -0.2113... Absolute numerical nonsense! It's like trying to measure the universe with a broken ruler while riding a unicycle. No Fields Medal for you, but perhaps a Nobel Prize in Creative Mathematics?