Free Science Is An Oxymoron

Behold the mathematician's infinity stones! While Thanos collected gems to destroy half the universe, mathematicians wield linguistic weapons of mass confusion to obliterate student comprehension. Each proof becomes a cosmic light show of "thus," "hence," "furthermore," and the dreaded "trivial" (which is never actually trivial). One snap of "therefore" and suddenly your understanding vanishes into dust. The real superpower? Casually dropping "trivial" on a three-page equation that would make Einstein weep. Pure mathematical savagery.

Nothing says "I'm a hopeless math nerd" quite like proposing at the exact moment a function crosses the x-axis. The Chebyshev bias is actually a real mathematical phenomenon related to the distribution of prime numbers—it's that weird quirk where primes are slightly more likely to be congruent to 3 mod 4 than 1 mod 4. Mathematicians get so starved for romance they'll turn statistical anomalies into pickup lines. "Hey baby, wanna cross my x-axis and change my sign?" Next thing you know they'll be naming theorems after their crushes. And they wonder why they're single.

The modern scientific method meets job hunting! This candidate just unlocked the hidden achievement of tech recruitment by proudly listing "googling" as a skill on their CV. And the twist? They're getting an interview! Because let's be honest—efficient search algorithm utilization is the unspoken superpower behind every successful researcher, developer, and engineer. The ability to quickly find solutions rather than reinventing every wheel is practically the foundation of modern innovation. This person's radical honesty might just be the most self-aware move in scientific hiring history.

Pierre de Fermat really woke up one day in 1637, scribbled "I have a truly marvelous proof which this margin is too small to contain," and then chose mathematical chaos. The absolute troll left mathematicians banging their heads against walls for 358 years until Andrew Wiles finally proved it in 1995. Imagine dropping the mathematical equivalent of "I know something you don't know" and then DYING without elaborating. Greatest mic drop in scientific history. Either Fermat was a genius who actually had a proof (doubtful) or he was history's first clickbait artist. "Mathematicians HATE him for this ONE simple theorem!"

When your advanced calculus exam is coming up but you still need to double-check that 1+2 actually equals 3. Trust issues with basic arithmetic is the official disease of math majors everywhere. We'll derive complex theorems all day but heaven forbid we add single digits without digital confirmation. It's not paranoia if the numbers really are out to get you!

STEM fields fighting over who gets to claim the smartest students is the academic equivalent of medieval knights competing for a princess's favor. Physics majors strut around with their fundamental forces, mathematicians flex their abstract reasoning muscles, engineers build impressive contraptions to show off, and computer scientists code their way into the spotlight—while finance majors just wave their future paychecks. Meanwhile, the brilliant students are just trying to figure out which field won't crush their souls (and maybe pay the bills).