No Center To The Universe, No Clue In The Newsroom

The headline "Experts ask where the center of the universe is" has actual cosmologists facepalming so hard they've created their own gravitational waves. Modern cosmology established decades ago that the universe has no center—it's expanding everywhere equally like a cosmic sourdough that forgot to set a timer. The professor's "No, we aren't asking this..." response is basically the scientific equivalent of "I can't even." Journalists inventing problems that scientists solved in the 1920s is peak science communication failure. Next headline: "Experts wonder if the Earth might be flat after all?" *collective scientist screaming intensifies*