Turbines Go Brrr

The ultimate chemistry hack that would make your high school teacher have a breakdown! This meme hilariously suggests transmuting mercury into gold by simply removing one proton per atom. In reality, this is exactly what nuclear transmutation is - changing one element into another by altering the number of protons. Mercury (atomic number 80) would indeed become gold (atomic number 79) if you could remove exactly one proton from each atom. The price difference (€100/kg vs €35,000/kg) would net you a tidy 350x profit! Just minor details like needing a particle accelerator, dealing with radioactive decay, and breaking several laws of physics standing in your way. Medieval alchemists spent centuries trying to turn lead into gold, but this meme suggests doing it with plastic tweezers and a casual disregard for the laws of thermodynamics. The perfect get-rich-quick scheme... if you ignore literally everything about nuclear physics!

Cosmic booty calls travel at the speed of light. Galaxy B shifts from yellow-orange to bright blue when Galaxy A mentions empty parent galaxies—demonstrating that galaxies, like humans, experience sudden bursts of motivation when certain opportunities arise. Astronomers call this phenomenon "relativistic horniness," where a galaxy's emission spectrum blue-shifts due to rapid acceleration toward a potential mate. Never documented in peer-reviewed literature, for obvious reasons.

The brutal truth nobody wants to admit: nuclear reactors are literally just fancy kettles. Left side shows how people imagine nuclear power—some sci-fi contraption straight out of a supervillain's lair. Right side reveals the embarrassing reality: Thomas the Tank Engine with a radiation symbol slapped on. Turns out we spent billions developing technology that does exactly what James Watt figured out in 1765—boil water to spin turbines. Nuclear physics PhDs everywhere quietly questioning their life choices.

When your colleague's "Little Bang theory" is just not getting the traction of the Big Bang! Poor Williams is desperately trying to convince his peers that his alternative cosmological model deserves attention. Meanwhile, his colleagues are rolling their eyes because they've heard this pitch 42 times already. The whiteboard equations? Pure cosmic gibberish with just enough mathematical symbols to look legit from a distance. Scientists can be ruthlessly competitive—if your theory doesn't explain the universe AND make coffee, don't even bother presenting it!

First two weeks of thermodynamics: gentle hand-holding through basic concepts. Week three: professor abandons you in the wilderness of partial derivatives. Week four: absolute zero isn't just a temperature—it's your exam score. The emotional journey from "heat flows from hot to cold" to "derive the entropy change of this non-ideal gas using statistical mechanics" happens faster than an adiabatic process. And they wonder why students' enthusiasm approaches absolute zero by midterm.

Oh god, the Hamiltonian space plot looks suspiciously like... that meme . Once you see the resemblance to the Among Us character, you can't unsee it. Some poor physics grad student probably spent weeks coding this phase space trajectory only to realize they've accidentally created a scientific shitpost. The universe is truly a cruel jokester—making our serious mathematical representations of physical systems look like cartoon space beans. Next time you're solving Hamilton's equations, remember: in phase space, no one can hear you scream.