The Burn Marks On The Grass

The cosmic irony here is just *chef's kiss*. Our ancestors were busy worshiping eldritch deities while modern humans struggle to comprehend why a particle can be in two places simultaneously. Quantum mechanics makes even the most bizarre ancient rituals seem downright logical! The universe really said "you think summoning rain gods was confusing? Hold my superposition." Quantum tunneling, entanglement, wave-particle duality—these concepts don't just break intuition, they shatter it into probabilistic fragments across multiple dimensions. Ancient priests at least got cool robes and dramatic ceremonies. Physicists just get equations and existential crises.

Once you understand the second law of thermodynamics, you're cursed with the knowledge that everything—yes, everything —tends toward disorder. That smug dog knows what's up. While his human's girlfriend spins fairy tales about their "perfect" relationship, he's sitting there like a furry physicist, silently judging with the cold, hard truth: entropy always increases in a closed system. Relationships included. The universe is basically saying "nice try, but I've got chaos planned for everyone." Engineers don't get the luxury of delusion—we just calculate the inevitable decay rate.

Physics: observable, measurable, follows clear rules. Metaphysics: *gestures vaguely at duck plushie* just vibes and contemplates existence. This is basically the entire philosophy of science curriculum condensed into four panels. The duck understands both equally well, which is to say, not at all.

This flowchart is what happens when career counselors have a mental breakdown. Engineering? Only if you're "good with things." Chemistry? Congratulations on your future as a "fussy pedant." And let's not forget Computer Science, perfect for those who prefer "slow, indirect evil" over the more efficient varieties. The beautiful part is how it nails the existential crisis of every STEM student. "Why do you want to major in a STEM field?" Options include "curiosity" (adorable), "to save the planet" (delusional), or my personal favorite, the dawning realization that STEM was supposed to involve actual plants for Biology majors. After 30 years of teaching, I can confirm this is approximately 87% accurate. The missing 13% is the path where you choose your major based on which department has the least uncomfortable chairs in the lecture hall.

Normal people: "That's a cool truck drawing!" Engineers: "But have you considered the coefficient of friction caused by exhaust gases at angle β while accounting for the mass differential during acceleration along an inclined plane?" This is what happens when you give an engineer a simple physics problem. Suddenly a truck isn't just a truck—it's a complex system of vectors, forces, and differential equations complete with a lovingly detailed illustration that probably took longer than solving the actual problem. The beautiful part is that after all those calculations, the answer is probably still wrong because they forgot to convert from imperial to metric somewhere.

Physics students maintaining their composure when asked for a well-structured joke, but absolutely losing their minds at the suggestion that biology isn't "real science." The interdepartmental rivalry continues. Meanwhile, biologists are too busy counting fruit flies to notice, and chemists are just happy someone else is being picked on for once.