The scientific calculator civil war has begun! Someone's circled all the advanced function buttons—you know, the ones that separate the math wizards from the "I just need to add these numbers" crowd. The punchline? "These people vote." Translation: The same folks who think logarithms and trigonometry are useless are making decisions about our future! Meanwhile, engineers are having heart palpitations just looking at this mathematical blasphemy. Fun fact: Those "useless" buttons helped us build rockets, design computers, and analyze quantum physics. But sure, who needs x² when you've got fingers to count on, right? *twitch*