The duality of physics students! On the left, the simple velocity formula (v=s/t) that everyone learns in high school - pure bliss, colorful, and carefree. On the right, the full suite of kinematic equations with their intimidating variables, squares, and fractions that show up in college physics. The transformation from "wheee, basic physics is fun!" to "I stare into the void and the void stares back" happens approximately 3 weeks into Physics 101. Those five equations on the right haunt physics students' dreams and turn cheerful faces into hardened, cigarette-smoking characters contemplating the cruel universe of constant acceleration.