Murder Memes

Mathematical beef in Ancient Greece was intense . Legend has it that when Hippasus proved √2 is irrational (meaning it can't be expressed as a simple fraction), Pythagoras was so offended by this attack on his perfect numerical universe that he had Hippasus thrown overboard during a sea voyage. While normal mathematicians use elegant proofs by contradiction, Pythagoras apparently preferred "proof by drowning" – the original peer review system where disagreement gets you yeeted into the Mediterranean. Talk about taking "sink or swim" literally in academic discourse! Next time your math professor gives you a hard time, just be thankful they've evolved beyond Pythagorean feedback methods.

The calculus murder mystery we didn't know we needed. 7 tells X that "1/X will change you," which turns out to be prophetic when X reads the derivative formula d/dx(1/x) = -1/x². X dies, e investigates, and ultimately discovers the murder weapon: basic differentiation rules. The real killer was always mathematics. Nine years of calculus research and not once did they warn us about the psychological trauma of finding the derivative of reciprocal functions.