Morning Memes

Behold, the only force stronger than gravity: the inexplicable attraction between your body and bed at 6 AM! While physics textbooks claim Earth's gravitational acceleration is a measly 9.8 m/s², they've clearly never studied the phenomenon of morning bed gravity—a crushing 999.8 m/s² force that renders even the most disciplined scientists completely immobile. It's the one experiment where increasing the alarm clock sample size only strengthens the hypothesis that you need "five more minutes." Newton's lesser-known Fourth Law states: "The reluctance to leave one's bed is directly proportional to how important your morning meeting is."

The universal constant of morning struggle! While Earth's gravitational pull is a measly 9.8 m/s², that force mysteriously multiplies by 102× when your alarm goes off. The bed's gravitational field becomes an inescapable black hole from which not even your motivation can escape. It's basically quantum physics—your body exists in a superposition of "should get up" and "five more minutes" until someone observes you, collapsing the waveform into "late for work again." Newton's lesser-known Fourth Law: The force required to exit a comfortable bed is directly proportional to how important your morning meeting is.