Minkowski Memes

The universe just got a software update. Apparently, mathematics was running on buggy code all along. They fixed that pesky issue where π=3 (physicists have been exploiting this glitch for centuries), and finally resolved the infinite series summation that mysteriously equaled -1/12 instead of +1/12. The most controversial change? Requiring age verification for sexy primes. Those mathematicians with their "Minkowski sausage" aren't even trying to be subtle anymore. Next patch will probably nerf Fermat's Last Theorem and buff the Riemann Hypothesis.