Diffraction Memes

The eternal struggle between crystal healers and crystallographers, beautifully satirized as a conspiracy theory! This masterpiece of scientific snark parodies how actual scientists feel when crystal enthusiasts claim healing properties while researchers spend years of their lives determining atomic structures through diffraction patterns. Those complex unit cell diagrams? Just "VOODOO mathematics" according to the meme. And that ridiculous chemical formula K 14 LaO 158 P 4 W 34 ? Try synthesizing that without carbon (or sanity)! My favorite part is "crystals made of PhD tears" - because nothing captures the essence of crystallography better than crying over diffraction patterns at 3AM wondering why your sample won't crystallize after 8 months of synthesis. The irony is delicious - real crystallographers would fight anyone claiming neutrons don't exist, yet would absolutely agree with the PhD tears part.

What happens when you blend conspiracy theories with the pain of structural biology research? This masterpiece. The truth about crystallography they don't want you to know: those diffraction patterns are just PhD students' tears crystallized under electron microscopes. That complex compound formula? Just keyboard smashing after the 47th failed crystallization attempt. Nothing captures lab desperation quite like calling your field "VOODOO mathematics" while staring at the same protein crystal that refuses to diffract properly for the fifth consecutive month. At least the "Round Pyramid Scheme" is aptly named - that's where your career goes when you can't get publishable data.

Picture a chemist who just spent days growing the perfect crystal for X-ray diffraction, smugly dismissing every other characterization technique in existence. "Raman? IR? EMP? XPS? Please, I can see everything in my crystal structure!" This is the crystallography purist's fantasy world—where a single technique magically reveals all molecular secrets. Meanwhile, spectroscopists everywhere are collectively facepalming. It's like claiming you can understand an entire symphony just by looking at the sheet music without ever hearing the instruments play. The rage comic face perfectly captures the frustration of researchers who can't grow single crystals and have to use—gasp—multiple complementary techniques like normal scientists. The horror!