Cern Memes

Posts tagged with Cern

Back To Basics: Smashing Rocks Through The Ages

Back To Basics: Smashing Rocks Through The Ages
From unga-bunga to CERN-bunga! 🤪 Prehistoric humans: *bangs rocks to make fire* Modern physicists: *builds $10 billion particle accelerator to smash subatomic particles at near-light speed* Evolution is just a fancy word for "finding increasingly expensive ways to satisfy our primal urge to crash things together." The Large Hadron Collider is basically humanity's ultimate rock-smashing upgrade - except now we're probing the fundamental secrets of the universe instead of just trying to cook a mammoth steak! Progress? Maybe. Hilarious cosmic irony? ABSOLUTELY! 💥

Sorry But Some Of Y'all Seem Too Confident In Something With No Empirical Evidence

Sorry But Some Of Y'all Seem Too Confident In Something With No Empirical Evidence
Particle physicists when you call supersymmetry a "hypothesis" instead of a "theory" is the scientific equivalent of triggering someone's fight response. Supersymmetry (SUSY) is a theoretical framework that predicts every particle has a "superpartner" with different properties. Despite decades of searching and billions spent on particle accelerators, not a single superparticle has been detected. Yet many physicists remain oddly committed to it, treating it more like established fact than untested hypothesis. The angry face in the last panel perfectly captures that moment when a physicist realizes you're questioning their beautiful mathematical construct with something as trivial as "evidence." How dare you bring the scientific method into theoretical physics!

God Particle Has A Nemesis

God Particle Has A Nemesis
The Higgs boson (aka "God Particle") finally met its match! While physicists spent billions at CERN to find the particle that gives matter mass, apparently someone's gone and discovered its evil twin—a "massless demon particle." Just imagine the lab meeting: "Congrats team, we've successfully summoned an incorporeal entity from the quantum realm that defies the Standard Model!" Next up in particle physics: exorcisms between collider runs. Wonder if they need holy water or just really cold liquid helium to contain it...

Just One Bigger Group To Unify Them All

Just One Bigger Group To Unify Them All
The eternal physicist's pipe dream: "Trust me, SU(37) will fix everything !" Theoretical physicists have been chasing the elusive Grand Unified Theory for decades, each time swearing that a bigger, more complex Lie group will finally explain all fundamental forces. Meanwhile, they're casually requesting billions for colliders that would need to encircle entire countries. The beautiful symmetry visualization is hypnotic, but so is watching research funding disappear into increasingly abstract mathematics that's always just about to revolutionize physics. Forty years later, we're still waiting for that breakthrough that's supposedly right around the corner... if we just build one more massive machine.

Maybe We All Have Unrealistic Expectations

Maybe We All Have Unrealistic Expectations
When your housing requirements are literally particle accelerator-sized! The meme brilliantly contrasts the housing crisis with the massive scale of particle physics infrastructure. The tiny apartment floorplan versus the enormous circular colliders (LHC, SPS, PS, and the hypothetical Future Circular Collider) creates the perfect visual punchline. For context: The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) has a 27km circumference, while the proposed Future Circular Collider could span 100km! That's one heck of a studio apartment. Hope the security deposit isn't calculated per square meter...

Pixel Physics: When CERN Gets Creative

Pixel Physics: When CERN Gets Creative
The ultimate scientific playground! Someone turned the CERN facility map into a pixel art masterpiece filled with physics Easter eggs. That colorful wheel in the center? It's the Standard Model of particle physics with quarks, leptons, and bosons all organized like a scientific zodiac chart. And is that a Higgs boson labeled "HIGGSINO" with a little Canadian maple leaf? 🇨🇦 (Shout-out to the Canadian physicists who helped discover it!) The equation snippet at the bottom left is the infamous "wave function equals zero" - basically quantum physics saying "nothing to see here, move along!" Scientists really do create the best workplace art when they're supposed to be smashing particles together! 💥

Size Doesn't Matter, Even In Particle Physics

Size Doesn't Matter, Even In Particle Physics
Someone's got their particles in a twist about CERN's collider ambitions! 🔬⚛️ This hot take compares building bigger particle accelerators to... well... compensating for something! The poster is having a meltdown over CERN's $68 billion plan for a larger hadron collider, claiming physicists should focus on better theories first rather than smashing particles at higher energies hoping for discoveries. It's like accusing scientists of playing an extremely expensive game of "hit things harder and see what happens!" In reality, particle physics has always balanced theory and experiment—sometimes you need to smash things at higher energies to discover particles predicted by theory (hello, Higgs boson!) and sometimes unexpected experimental results lead to revolutionary theories. It's not an either/or situation—it's scientific tango!

Quantum Nightclub: Where Higgs Is The Bouncer

Quantum Nightclub: Where Higgs Is The Bouncer
The perfect subatomic relationship drama! At the quantum party, elementary particles are the carefree ravers—zipping around at light speed, vibing through spacetime without a care in the world. Meanwhile, the Higgs field is basically that one friend who's always like "guys, please slow down, you're being ridiculous." What's actually happening is that particles interacting with the Higgs field gain mass (literally the physics equivalent of being weighed down by responsibility). Without this interaction, particles would zoom around at light speed forever like eternal teenagers. The stronger a particle interacts with the Higgs field, the more mass it gains—and the more the field is like "NOPE, you're staying right here, young quark!"

The Political Particle Collider

The Political Particle Collider
Finally, a particle accelerator experiment I can get behind! Political science has evolved from boring polls and focus groups to high-energy physics. Instead of studying voter behavior, they're now accelerating Democrats and Republicans to relativistic speeds and watching the spectacular explosion of talking points and blame that results. The collision debris includes fragments of broken promises, spin particles, and trace amounts of actual policy. The half-life of any resulting bipartisan agreement is approximately 2.7 nanoseconds. The real breakthrough? They've discovered that politicians can indeed move faster than their ability to change positions on issues!

When Mom Says We Have ATLAS At Home

When Mom Says We Have ATLAS At Home
When you're begging for the fancy ATLAS detector at CERN but Mom points to the cosmic ray detector you cobbled together in the basement! 😂 The top shows the complex ATLAS particle detector used at the Large Hadron Collider to smash protons and discover exotic particles like the Higgs boson. Meanwhile, "at home" is just a basic cosmic ray track visualization that's basically the particle physics equivalent of a potato battery science project. Budget particle physics is still particle physics, I guess? *maniacal scientist laughter*

Is 0.1% A Lot? Depends On Your Scientific Discipline

Is 0.1% A Lot? Depends On Your Scientific Discipline
The eternal statistical relativity of science! To an engineer, 0.1% error is practically perfection—they're building bridges, not searching for God particles. But mention that same 0.1% to a particle physicist who's trying to confirm the existence of a boson that appears for a nanosecond once every billion collisions, and they'll laugh you out of CERN. It's like telling a chef "close enough" when measuring salt versus telling a pharmacist "eh, roughly that amount of cyanide should be fine."

You Get An Accelerator And You Get An Accelerator!

You Get An Accelerator And You Get An Accelerator!
Physicists see the world through particle-smashing goggles! While normal humans just drive cars, physicists transform every surface into a potential particle accelerator. Steering wheel? Nope, that's clearly an angular momentum control device for your quantum vehicular experiment! Gas pedal? Please, that's just a primitive energy input—the REAL fun happens when you slam those particles together at near-light speeds! Brakes? Who needs to slow down when you're making scientific breakthroughs at 299,792,458 meters per second?!