Absolute value Memes

The mathematical elegance here is simply *chef's kiss*. Someone just proved that the absolute value function and "smash" are isomorphic operations. Both transform opposites (positive/negative numbers or easy/hard smashes) into equivalent outputs. The rigorous logical progression from premise to conclusion is what happens when mathematicians get bored on dating apps. Next theorem: proving that swiping right is a monotonically increasing function of attractiveness.

The mathematical punchline we never knew we needed! This genius connects the absolute value function in math with... dating preferences? 🤓 Just like |x| transforms both positive and negative numbers into positive results, the "smash function" apparently works the same way on opposites! Whether something's easy or hard, the "smash" operation yields identical outputs - truly a mathematical breakthrough of questionable academic rigor but impeccable humor. The proof is elegantly constructed: if easy ≠ hard, but easy_smash = hard_smash, then smash(x) must be an absolute value-like function that maps all inputs to non-negative results. QED and possibly TMI.

The eternal struggle of calculus students everywhere! First you write the integral of dx/x, then confidently declare it equals ln(x) + C. But wait—the math police have arrived with a photo of a disappointed mathematician! The absolute value bars around x are missing! The correct form is ln|x| + C, which accounts for negative values of x where the logarithm would otherwise be undefined. That tiny vertical line makes all the difference between mathematical glory and eternal shame.

The perfect mathematical pun doesn't exi— Oh wait, it does. Someone cleverly arranged this person with their arms out to form |x|, the notation for absolute value. In mathematics, absolute value represents the distance of a number from zero, regardless of direction. So |-5| = 5, just like |5| = 5. Much like how this person seems equally passionate about both positive and negative values. Mathematicians don't tell jokes often, but when they do, they're absolutely valuable.

When your brain starts interpreting "lol" as |o| (absolute value of o), you've officially crossed the mathematical point of no return. For the uninitiated, absolute value gives you the distance of a number from zero, ignoring the sign. So the person is seeing internet slang as mathematical notation—a classic symptom of what we in the field call "terminal mathematics exposure." The irony of the username "the-real-numbers" responding with "lol" is just *chef's kiss* perfection. Mathematical brainrot is irreversible. Trust me, I've tried to cure mine with alcohol. Didn't work. Just calculated the ethanol concentration instead.

The mathematical notation |cinema| represents the absolute value of cinema, which is, apparently, "ABSOLUTE CINEMA." Mathematicians have been trying to calculate the magnitude of film quality for decades, but it turns out the answer was hiding in plain sight. Next up: finding the derivative of popcorn with respect to runtime.

Math has officially claimed another victim! The moment you start seeing "lol" as |o| (absolute value of o), you've crossed the mathematical point of no return. For the uninitiated, absolute value is just math's fancy way of saying "I don't care about your negative sign, just give me the positive distance from zero." So |o| would technically be... the absolute value of the letter o? Which is still just o? The irony is that while they're losing their mind over mathematical notation, they're simultaneously using "lol" - which is exactly what the rest of us are doing at their mathematical breakdown. It's a recursive humor function!

Found the mathematician in the chat! When Tashara says "I prefer positive feedback," they're unwittingly making a brilliant math pun. In mathematics, positive feedback means the absolute value of something—even if the input is negative (like "you suck"), the output remains positive (still "you suck," but now it's constructive criticism!). It's like when my students hand in terrible proofs and I write "wonderfully wrong" on their papers. The mathematical equivalent of putting lipstick on a differential equation.

The mathematical brilliance hiding in plain sight! Those raised hands aren't just expressing cinematic opinions—they're literally forming the absolute value symbols around "CINEMA." |CINEMA| = ABSOLUTE CINEMA. Twenty years of teaching physics and I never noticed that the universal gesture for "this film was incredible" is actually perfect mathematical notation. Next time your students ask when they'll ever use math in real life, just gesture wildly at movie posters.

The mathematical pun here is criminally underappreciated. "No one" shows a slider at zero on a number line. "Absolutely no one" shows the slider at |0|, which is... still zero. Because the absolute value of zero is zero. The function literally did nothing, just like how "absolutely no one" is still "no one" in conversation. It's the mathematical equivalent of saying something with extra emphasis but adding zero actual information.