Your Computational Negligence - Cringe. My Computational Negligence - Cool

Mathematicians having a collective breakdown right now! This "new triangle" with angles of 30°, 60°, 90°, and 180° totals to 360° instead of the mandatory 180° for triangles. It's literally a square trying to identify as a triangle. The geometry police are on their way with protractors drawn. Next thing you know, circles will claim they have corners too!

Finally, a mathematical formula more elusive than the Riemann hypothesis – the probability of romantic interest. What we have here is Bayes' theorem masquerading as relationship advice. Turns out, calculating quantum field equations is still easier than figuring out if your crush likes you back. The denominator should include a term for "number of times you've rehearsed this conversation in the shower" divided by "actual courage to speak when the moment arrives." Trust me, I've been teaching probability for 30 years, and this equation still returns "undefined" for most grad students.

Behold the moment your Newtonian soul leaves your corporeal form as you venture into the quantum realm! That glowing silhouette is just your classical intuition making its dramatic exit when you discover that particles can be waves, cats can be simultaneously dead AND alive, and reality is basically a probability cloud. Hilbert space is that infinite-dimensional mathematical wonderland where quantum states live—a place where common sense goes to die a spectacular death. The transition from "apple falls down" to "electron might be literally anywhere in the universe until observed" is enough to make anyone's spirit leave their body!

Reality check! That's not a crowbar—it's an integral symbol from calculus! Math majors know their future plans will be integrated with this symbol forever. While regular students dream of corner offices, math majors are busy calculating the area under their career curve. The integral always wins because it literally represents the sum of infinite tiny pieces—just like a math major's shattered dreams! Their future? Somewhere between undefined and approaching infinity. Spoiler alert: you can't pay rent with elegant proofs!

Remember when math was just about numbers? Then some deranged mathematician decided, "You know what these equations need? The entire alphabet. And symbols. And subscripts." Now we're force-fed unnecessary complexities like watching Mr. Krabs dump "unnecessary sex scenes" into our perfectly good "math" while some psychopath (probably Fermat or Riemann) stands by gleefully. Thirty years teaching calculus and I still can't explain why we need seventeen different ways to express infinity. Pure mathematical sadism.

The eternal struggle of the science enthusiast! Proudly declaring "I believe only in science" while simultaneously failing spectacularly at the actual subjects. The cognitive dissonance is strong with this one! It's like announcing you're a gourmet chef while burning microwave popcorn. The beautiful irony of loving something that clearly doesn't love you back - a tragic romance worthy of Shakespeare, if Shakespeare had flunked calculus too!