Lab Coats: Designed For Maximum Inconvenience

The scientific fashion industry's greatest prank on researchers everywhere! Nothing says "I make important discoveries" like a garment specifically engineered to sabotage your work. The classic lab coat - designed with pockets deep enough to lose your grant money in, but somehow never your pen when it leaks. Those wide cuffs aren't just stylish - they're precision-calibrated to maximize your chances of knocking over that irreplaceable sample you've been working on for months. And that open neck? Perfect for when you want that glass shard to find your jugular with pinpoint accuracy. Scientists spend years mastering complex theories only to be defeated by six unnecessarily complicated buttons when they're racing to the bathroom after drinking lab coffee. It's not PPE - it's a Purposefully Problematic Ensemble!