Born To Rock The Geology World

The ultimate alchemist's dream! "Fe" is iron and "S" is sulfur on the periodic table, and when combined as FeS₂, you get pyrite—aka "fool's gold." It looks like gold but it's chemically worthless compared to actual gold. The stonks meme guy is basically saying "I've turned worthless elements into something that LOOKS valuable and tricked everyone!" It's medieval chemistry meets modern finance fraud! The perfect scheme until someone with basic mineral knowledge shows up to your gold rush and ruins everything with actual science.

Finding rocks that match your partner's eye color? That's what happens when geologists fall in love. While most couples waste time with dinner and movies, these two are out here conducting impromptu petrological matchmaking. I've spent 40 years studying sedimentary formations, and never once thought to use them as romantic currency. The igneous and metamorphic communities are surely taking notes. Next time someone asks me about carbon dating, I'll just show them this—clearly they've been doing it all wrong.

This little plant is channeling Gloria Gaynor in the most existential way possible! 🌱 The comic brilliantly captures the entire history of plant evolution in just two panels. That seedling starts out in a prehistoric forest "afraid" - surrounded by towering trees and competition. Fast forward millions of years, and BOOM - it's fossilized! Instead of surviving, our botanical protagonist ended up as a fossil imprint in sedimentary rock. Nature's ultimate plot twist! The irony of a plant quoting "I Will Survive" only to become geological evidence of extinction is peak scientific comedy. Evolution doesn't care about your motivational speeches!

Someone's confusing correlation with causation again. Holding a uranium-rich rock and subsequently feeling ill isn't a matter of personal opinion—it's just basic radiobiology. Next they'll be saying gravity is just a suggestion. The laws of physics don't require your agreement to function, much like how my experiments don't require my lab manager's approval to fail spectacularly.

NASA: "We found water on Mars!" Everyone else: "Cool, but why does your cross-section look exactly like a chocolate brownie with ice cream?" The red planet is apparently hiding a delicious secret beneath its surface! Scientists get excited about subsurface Martian water while the rest of us are just wondering if we need to bring forks and napkins on the next mission. Guess Elon Musk's Mars colony might need to include a bakery after all. The only thing more ironic than finding water on Mars would be discovering it's actually hot fudge sauce.

The bell curve of Earth shape knowledge! On both ends, you've got people confidently declaring "The Earth is a sphere" (spoiler: they're wrong). Meanwhile, in the middle peak of the curve is the frustrated geoscience nerd screaming "NOOO THE EARTH IS AN IRREGULARLY-SHAPED ELLIPSOID!" This is the perfect representation of how actual scientific knowledge works - the most accurate answer is often complex and unsatisfying. While elementary school taught us Earth is a sphere, and flat-Earthers... well, they have their own ideas... the truth is our planet bulges at the equator and has countless topographical variations. It's technically an "oblate spheroid" or "geoid" that defies simple geometric classification! The real galaxy brains know Earth's shape has a special name that will never come up in casual conversation unless you want everyone to slowly back away from you at parties!