Our Plans Are Measured In Centuries

Engineering students just got murdered by their own university. The tweet essentially says "avoid contact with romantic partners... unless you're an engineering student because, well, we all know you don't have any." The casual brutality with which the University of Alberta acknowledges the stereotypical social desert of engineering student life is both savage and statistically accurate. The data doesn't lie—those differential equations aren't the only things going unsolved in their lives.

Engineers secretly hiding happiness in their job title! The irony is delicious considering most engineering students and professionals exist in a perpetual state of caffeine-fueled problem-solving and deadline panic. Sure, the 'h' stands for happiness... just like the 'f' in 'deadline' stands for 'flexible.' Next time your engineering friend claims they're working on "stress analysis," now you know they're actually referring to their mental state!

The evolution of Xbox consoles as mathematical functions is pure genius. Starting with the linear Xbox, we progress through quadratic, cubic, and exponential transformations until we reach the differential equations that probably power the Xbox engineering team's nightmares. By the time we hit the circle equation and quartic functions, Microsoft's design team has clearly abandoned Euclidean geometry altogether. Next console will probably require a PhD in theoretical physics just to turn it on. Gaming and calculus have never had such an elegant intersection—your math teacher would be so proud while your wallet weeps.

The multiverse of physics constants, all represented by the letter K. This is what happens when physicists run out of alphabet and start casting spells with the same letter. That "replies from crush" arm is particularly devastating - the only constant with a 100% chance of approaching zero. In the mystical temple of thermodynamics, Dr. K conjures all the constants simultaneously, bending reality with each hand gesture. Meanwhile, engineering students cry in the corner trying to remember which K is which on their cheat sheets.

The digital doggo is trapped in computational fluid dynamics purgatory! This poor rainbow-colored canine is experiencing what every engineering student fears - being the test subject in a CFD simulation. The green streamlines show how the fluid flows around the dog model, visualizing pressure differentials and boundary layer behavior. Bernoulli's principle in action, but this pup isn't having it! The title's pasta reference perfectly captures the desperation of anyone who's spent 72 hours waiting for ANSYS to finish processing only to realize they set the boundary conditions wrong.

When your appliance uses 68 watts: 😒 When it uses 68 kilowatt-hours per 1000 hours (which is still 68 watts): 🧐✨ Nothing captures the essence of energy-conscious consumerism quite like being fooled by unit conversion trickery. The same power consumption suddenly feels sophisticated when expressed in a more complex unit. It's like ordering "dihydrogen monoxide with frozen crystalline structures" instead of "ice water" and feeling fancy about it.