People Be Like 'Based' Without Checking The pH Level

The chemistry world's original ghosting story! John Dalton proposed element symbols based on English names (like O for Oxygen, H for Hydrogen) in 1803, feeling pretty smug about his brilliant system. Then Berzelius swooped in with those Latin-based symbols we use today (Fe for Ferrum/Iron, Na for Natrium/Sodium), and Dalton's contribution got completely sidelined. Talk about a scientific rejection that still stings two centuries later! Poor guy probably muttered "I created atomic theory too, you know" at parties for the rest of his life.

The infamous Thomson "plum pudding" atomic model, now with 99.9999% empty space! This textbook diagram shows the positive sphere and electron with such dramatic scaling that you'd need an electron microscope just to find them. Imagine the student's confusion: "Is this a diagram or just a blank page with arrows pointing at dust?" The real joke is that Thomson's model was already obsolete by 1911 when Rutherford proved atoms weren't solid spheres—yet textbooks still manage to make them even emptier than reality. Scale in physics: where sometimes the most important things are the hardest to see!

The periodic table's version of "find me a unicorn." Discovering an element between hydrogen (atomic number 1) and helium (atomic number 2) would literally break the fundamental laws of physics. It's like asking a mathematician to find a whole number between 1 and 2. That painful pause wasn't just awkward date silence—it was the sound of a chemist's soul leaving their body while contemplating whether to launch into a lecture on atomic numbers or just nod and hope the appetizers arrive soon. If someone actually managed this impossible feat, they'd need to book their flight to Stockholm immediately. The Nobel committee would have a collective aneurysm trying to comprehend how someone rewrote the entire foundation of modern chemistry.

The perfect chemistry joke doesn't exi— K(aq) is literally "potassium dissolved in water" but it looks exactly like someone drowning and waving for help! Chemistry notation accidentally created the perfect visual pun. That poor potassium ion is having quite the aqueous adventure. 💦

Behold the Carboxylic Acid Table of Elements ! Someone replaced every element with the same carboxylic acid structure (COOH), creating the most chemically redundant periodic table in history! It's like going to a costume party where everyone decided to dress as the same molecule. Chemistry professors would either have a meltdown or burst into uncontrollable laughter seeing their beloved periodic diversity reduced to a monoculture of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. Next up: the periodic table of just "H" for when you want to be even more basic!

The eternal funding disparity in academia, illustrated perfectly through SpongeBob! Chemistry gets the Krusty Krab—colorful flags, proper structure, even a fancy jellyfish lamp out front. Meanwhile, physics is stuck with... a literal bucket. The department that studies quantum mechanics and black holes gets housed in what looks like a janitor's leftover supplies. This hits way too close to home for anyone who's ever wandered between science buildings on campus. Chemistry departments swimming in industry grants while theoretical physicists calculate string theory in what might as well be a broom closet. Funding committees be like "You can explain the fundamental forces of the universe in THIS."