I Used Fat To Destroy The Fat

Those innocent doodles in your notebook? To a chemistry teacher, they're basically the first draft of an explosive device! 💥 Your casual scribbles of random lines look suspiciously like structural formulas for nitroglycerin or TNT. Meanwhile, your teacher is sitting there like Tom from Tom & Jerry, wondering if they should call the FBI or just give you extra homework. Next time you're bored in chem class, maybe stick to drawing flowers instead of accidentally inventing the next Nobel's dynamite!

The superhero interpretation of atomic structure is painfully accurate. The electron, portrayed by Wolverine, stands aloof and brooding - exactly how electrons behave, constantly threatening to jump to another energy level without warning. Meanwhile, the proton and neutron cuddle in the nucleus like they're at a middle school dance. The strong nuclear force is basically just atomic PDA. Next semester I'll be teaching quantum mechanics using X-Men comics instead of textbooks. Might finally get someone to stay awake.

The cosmic search for intelligent life hits a snag when our bearded scientist encounters a man who thinks cyclohexanone is just a benzene ring with an oxygen. That's not a ketone, buddy—that's a crime against organic chemistry! The universe is vast, but apparently not vast enough to contain proper chemical literacy. Maybe aliens are hiding because they've seen our structural formulas.

The periodic table popularity contest is brutal! Ytterby, a tiny Swedish mining village, has four elements named after it (yttrium, ytterbium, terbium, and erbium). Meanwhile, most scientists are lucky to get one element named after them. Imagine entering a "who has more elements" competition and finding out your opponent is literally the chemical element jackpot town. That's like bringing a calculator to a math contest only to discover your opponent invented numbers.

Those aren't fidget spinners, buddy. That's the universal symbol for radioactive materials on those barrels. Confusing the two is how you end up with superpowers... or more realistically, acute radiation syndrome. Nothing says "failed science class" quite like mistaking nuclear waste for a trendy desk toy. The half-life of uranium-235 is 700 million years, but the half-life of this person's scientific literacy was apparently about 45 minutes.

Someone boldly declares "The earth is 4000 years old. Change my mind." and then gets absolutely demolished by radioactive decay facts. It's like bringing a Bible to a nuclear physics fight. Poor guy never stood a chance against uranium-238's 4.5 billion year half-life. That's the scientific equivalent of saying "I think this mountain is a molehill" and then getting buried under the actual mountain. The best part? Lead exists. That's it. That's the knockout punch. Billions of years of cosmic decay processes just sitting there in periodic table form, staring back at young-earth believers like "You sure about that timeline, buddy?"