RNA's Relationship Status: Always Single

Natural selection doesn't eliminate traits that don't actively prevent reproduction. Intelligence isn't a prerequisite for survival or mating success in modern society. In fact, studies show idiots reproduce at higher rates. Nature's cruel joke: survival of the fittest became survival of the most fertile. Patrick Star's confused face perfectly captures my expression after explaining evolution to undergrads for the 47th time.

The "scutoid" is actually a real geometric shape discovered in 2018 in epithelial cells. It's what happens when nature decides regular prisms are too mainstream. Calculating its surface area would make even tenured mathematics professors reach for the whiskey. High schoolers dodged a bullet there - imagine the collective trauma of an exam question asking to "find the area of a scutoid, show your work." The geometry teacher would probably just grade papers based on how creatively students expressed their despair.

Chemistry nerds will die on the hill that protons in solution are actually hydronium ions (H₃O⁺), while biologists are just standing there like "whatever dude, pH still works either way." It's that classic academic pedantry where chemists are technically correct (the best kind of correct!) but biologists are too busy dealing with actual living organisms to care about the molecular details. Next time a chemist corrects you about H⁺ versus H₃O⁺, just smile and nod while secretly thinking about how they probably haven't seen sunlight in weeks.

Physics majors think everything can be reduced to particles and forces. Tell a physicist that biology is just "applied physics" and watch their smug face light up! This is the scientific equivalent of mansplaining—"physplaining," if you will. "You see, those complex biological systems with millions of years of evolutionary nuance? Just tiny particles bumping into each other! Problem solved!" Next up: explaining consciousness with F=ma. Because that's totally how it works.

Your immune system is that panicky friend who overreacts to everything! The meme perfectly captures that moment when your body first detects the spike protein (whether from the virus or vaccine) and immediately sounds all the alarms. Meanwhile, you're there like the calm fish saying "Relax, we've prepared for this." Your immune cells are frantically assembling antibodies while you're just trying to drink enough water and pop some vitamin C. The immune response is literally programmed to freak out—it's just doing its job, even if it means giving you a fever, fatigue, and making you feel like garbage for a few days. That's just your cellular security team being a bit too enthusiastic about protecting the premises!

Natural selection has never been so meme-worthy! This brilliant illustration shows how population bottlenecks work using internet meme faces as species. First we have a diverse community of meme faces, then catastrophe strikes leaving only Trollface and Wojak as survivors. But nature finds a way! These survivors diversify to fill the empty niches, creating new "species" that are suspiciously similar to their ancestors. It's basically evolution saying "Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V, now let me just change this a bit so it doesn't look like I copied your homework." Darwin would be proud... or deeply confused by our internet culture.