Supermassive Black Holes: Literally The Coolest Thing Ever

Behold the glorious IQ bell curve of solar perception! The average minds (center peak) are CONVINCED the sun is green—which is technically correct if you're talking about peak wavelength! Meanwhile, the less scientifically inclined folks (left) simply see yellow because, well, that's what their eyes tell them. But the TRUE galaxy brains (right) understand the sun primarily emits in infrared, which we can't even see! It's the cosmic joke of perception—we're all looking at the same star but seeing it completely differently depending on which part of the electromagnetic spectrum we're considering! *adjusts lab goggles frantically*

Imagine writing code in the 70s, never expecting it would still be running 50+ years later on a spacecraft that's literally left the solar system. Those NASA engineers are celebrating because their documentation was so good they could decipher their own ancient hieroglyphics. Meanwhile, I can't understand code I wrote last week without comments. The ultimate legacy code maintenance success story—turns out commenting your code might actually be useful when your project is hurtling through interstellar space at 38,000 mph.

The duality of humanity when faced with potential extinction! While normal folks panic about a "droplet-shaped object" hurtling toward Earth, physics enthusiasts are gleefully calculating orbital mechanics. The three-body problem is notoriously unsolvable in closed form—it's literally chaos theory in action! The title brilliantly references "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" where dolphins (the second most intelligent species on Earth) leave before our planet's destruction with that exact farewell. Calculating celestial trajectories vs. running for your life? The physics nerds choose math every time. They're not scared—they're intellectually stimulated .

Google's search results claim Alpha Centauri is the nearest star to Earth, completely forgetting about our very own Sun! *adjusts lab goggles frantically* The cosmic elephant in the room! Even the most sophisticated search algorithms can't remember that giant nuclear fusion reactor that gives us life, light, and painful sunburns. It's like forgetting your own head is attached to your body! Next they'll tell us water isn't wet and gravity is just a suggestion. *scribbles equations on whiteboard manically* TECHNICALLY, the Sun is approximately 150 million kilometers closer than Alpha Centauri's 4.37 light-years. Just a small rounding error of...let me calculate...93 MILLION MILES!

Scientists discovering dark energy isn't what they thought is peak cosmology drama. Three major publications all reporting the same existential crisis within 24 hours? Typical. We name something "dark energy," admit we have no idea what 68% of the universe is made of, and then act shocked when our guesses turn out wrong. Next they'll tell us dark matter is actually just regular matter wearing sunglasses. The universe continues its longest-running prank: making physicists rewrite textbooks every time we think we understand something.

Someone drew a little "UwU" face on Jupiter, and honestly, this is what happens when you let astronomers work past their caffeine threshold. The largest planet in our solar system, reduced to an anime emoticon. 142,984 kilometers in diameter with a mass 318 times that of Earth, and now it's blushing at you from 588 million kilometers away. Next thing you know, Saturn will be asking for headpats and Mars will start ending texts with "rawr xD." This is precisely why we can't have nice things in the cosmos.