The PhD Villain Origin Story

The eternal academic hierarchy, displayed in its natural habitat: a Venn diagram. Physicists claim they "can get laid," mathematicians "mock engineers," and engineers... well, they "can't win a Nobel Prize." The central punchline reveals the one thing uniting these feuding disciplines: everyone agrees they're "better than chemists." The scientific equivalent of siblings fighting over who gets to sit in the front seat, except with more equations and fewer Nobel Prizes for engineers. Just another day in the STEM family dysfunction.

Nothing says "I am the master of the universe" quite like knowing that dE/dt=0 means energy is conserved. While your friends flex their money and status, you're over here casually dropping conservation of energy principles in conversation. The pink bar is practically off the charts because let's face it - understanding the fundamental laws that govern reality is the ultimate power move. Who needs a corner office when you can explain why the entire cosmos doesn't just randomly lose energy? Physics equations: making mere mortals feel inadequate since Newton dropped that apple.

The beautiful irony of science in one perfect image. We tell kids to question everything, then spend the next 20 years of their education being annoyed when they actually do it. That endless stream of "why" questions from children isn't just adorable torture—it's literally the foundation of all scientific progress. Every groundbreaking discovery started with someone refusing to accept "because I said so" as an answer. Next time a kid asks you "why" for the 47th consecutive time, remember: you're either nurturing the next Einstein or creating your future revenge by sending them to grad school.

The internal screaming of every math major when someone makes a fundamentally incorrect statement about numbers! In discrete mathematics, zero is absolutely an even number because it satisfies the definition perfectly: any integer divisible by 2 with no remainder. Since 0 = 2 × 0, it fits the criteria flawlessly. That moment when your basic math knowledge transforms casual conversations into mental torture sessions. You want to correct them, but you'll sound like a pedantic nightmare. The struggle is real for anyone who's ventured beyond arithmetic into the beautiful, maddening world of mathematical rigor!

The duality of every science student's brain in its natural habitat! You're desperately trying to be responsible, practically begging your lab partner to finish the report before the deadline monster arrives. Then your inner procrastination demon (beautifully represented by an angry yellow bird) immediately betrays you. That little voice in your head saying "actually, Netflix and existential dread sound WAY better right now" wins again. It's like Newton's lesser-known Fourth Law: For every academic intention, there's an equal and opposite self-sabotage.

The perpetual cry of "normalize this, normalize that" gets a much-needed reality check here. In physics, normalization is a mathematical technique to make equations well-behaved. In society, it's what people demand when they want their questionable life choices validated. Perhaps if these normalization enthusiasts spent more time with divergent integrals, they'd understand that not everything needs to be forced into standard form. Some behaviors should remain properly undefined.