Step 1 Of 94: The Academic Abyss

Just your typical mathematician refusing to join the infinity assassination plot. The ultrafinitists are coming for those pesky large numbers, claiming they're holding back science. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to divide by zero in peace. The date says 2025 too—apparently the war on infinity is scheduled right after we figure out how to fold fitted sheets.

The eternal academic rivalry captured in its purest form! Physicists looking down with pity on chemists while chemists respond with complete indifference is basically the scientific equivalent of siblings fighting in the backseat of a car. This perfectly encapsulates the disciplinary superiority complex that runs through STEM fields. Physicists see themselves as dealing with fundamental laws of the universe while viewing chemistry as just "applied physics." Meanwhile, chemists are too busy making actual useful compounds to care about physicists' theoretical musings. The real joke? Biologists are off-camera wondering why these two are fighting when they're both just creating problems that engineers will eventually have to solve.

The ultimate academic irony! Getting an egyptology degree, then spending more money on a PhD just to teach others egyptology... making higher education literally a pyramid scheme! 😂 The punchline is absolutely brilliant because it works on multiple levels - the educational hierarchy forms a pyramid shape (few professors at top, many students at bottom), while also connecting perfectly to the Egyptian subject matter. Talk about being trapped in academic quicksand without a hieroglyphic instruction manual! Meanwhile, the pharaohs of academia keep collecting tuition treasure while their graduates search for that elusive tomb of employment.

The mathematical equivalent of shooting yourself in the foot! First panel: panic at a difficult equation. Second panel: pure joy when all the complicated terms cancel out. Third panel: the horrifying realization you've eliminated the very variable you were trying to find. It's like spending hours searching for your glasses while wearing them, only to throw them away once you find them. The mathematical walk of shame every student knows too well.

Insults? Whatever. Criticize chemistry? Now you've crossed a line, buddy. Nothing triggers a scientist faster than trash-talking their field. We'll ignore personal attacks all day, but suggest our beloved discipline is worthless and suddenly we transform into rabid defenders of molecular honor. The same chemist who shrugs off being called ugly will absolutely lecture you for 45 minutes about how chemistry literally created modern civilization. Don't even get me started on what happens when you tell a physicist that gravity is "just a theory."

The eternal academic purgatory, illustrated! That skeleton isn't dead - it's just a researcher waiting for a tenure-track position. The academic career ladder has become so stretched that by the time you finish your 7th postdoc, your bones have literally fossilized. Universities keep promising "next year we might have an opening" while your youth evaporates faster than ethanol in an uncapped flask. The only thing more permanent than your skeletal remains is your student debt!