The universe has a sense of humor, but its delivery is about 9 light-years too slow. Sirius, our brightest night sky neighbor, is indeed racing toward us at 9 miles per second. But before you start building your stellar bunker, that's still a 136,000-year commute before it gets uncomfortably close. The punchline? By then, our own sun will have probably fried us anyway. Talk about cosmic timing! The real "Sirius trouble" is how long it took me to stop giggling at this astronomical dad joke.