Physicists have finally discovered what's been hiding in plain sight all along - our fundamental particles are just having an existential crisis! The Standard Model now accurately classifies force carriers as "mental illnesses" while quarks get cute duck hats and leptons self-medicate with tea.
My favorite particle has to be the "mewon" - clearly the result of a physicist who owned too many cats. And don't get me started on "Hugs" replacing the Higgs boson - though honestly, that explains why everything has mass... we're all just desperately clinging to each other in this quantum void!
Sponsored by Lipton because even fundamental particles need a cup of tea after holding the universe together all day.