Supermarket Memes

The true unsolved mystery of physics: how a 500-meter trip to the supermarket takes Dad 18 years but you only 12 minutes. Turns out the answer involves a space-time anomaly triggered by a missing lactose drink in the refrigerator! Einstein never accounted for the "Dad Going to Get Milk" paradox in his relativity equations. Scientists are still collecting data, but preliminary results suggest this phenomenon affects approximately 78% of fathers worldwide.