Spectrometer Memes

Scientists are just big kids with expensive toys and ridiculous names for everything. That "microball spinner" is a $50,000 centrifuge. The "absolute blaster" is a gas chromatograph-mass spectrometer that cost more than your car. And don't get me started on the "quiet room" - that's an electron microscope that required reinforcing the building's foundation. Nothing says "responsible use of grant money" like calling a $200,000 rotary evaporator "succ-n-spin." Grant reviewers would have heart attacks if they knew what we actually call these instruments behind closed doors.