Speciation Memes

Darwin would be rolling in his grave if he saw how we've butchered natural selection into "press B to stop evolution." The meme shows what Pokémon evolution would actually look like if it followed real biological principles - gradual changes across generations with color variants representing different environmental adaptations. Instead of magical transformations, we'd get slight modifications based on selective pressures. It's basically what happens when a biologist crashes a Nintendo meeting and starts ranting about phylogenetic trees while everyone else just wanted to sell more plush toys.

Evolution's got a twisted sense of humor! Instead of blessing us with superintelligent octopus overlords or dolphin professors, it keeps churning out more crabs. Carcinization—the bizarre evolutionary phenomenon where everything eventually evolves into crab-like forms—is nature's way of saying "when in doubt, crab it out." Five separate lineages have independently evolved into crab-shaped creatures because apparently that body plan is just *chef's kiss* for survival. Meanwhile, scientists are over here smashing the red button like "PLEASE, JUST ONE INTELLIGENT SPECIES THAT ISN'T A MAMMAL OR OCTOPUS." Mother Nature: "Best I can do is another sideways-walking pinchy boi."

Nothing like a good science vs. religion showdown at the volleyball court! The first player serves up a perfectly reasonable explanation of how languages evolve through small, gradual changes over time—exactly like biological evolution. Then player two just spikes back with "nope, God got annoyed at our skyscraper ambitions and scrambled our languages overnight." Classic! It's like watching natural selection debate intelligent falling. Next time you're explaining phylogenetic trees to someone and they counter with biblical literalism, just remember: some people think dinosaur fossils were planted by mischievous angels.