You know those textbook statistics problems where someone gets hit by lightning while being attacked by a shark? Well, here's the guy getting 12 phone calls per minute according to the Poisson distribution. The Poisson distribution is used to model rare events happening over time—like radioactive decay, customer arrivals, or apparently, being the world's most popular person. Dude literally strapped dozens of phones to a contraption and is living out the statistical nightmare we all solve on paper. Meanwhile, most of us are lucky to get 12 calls per month that aren't spam about our car's extended warranty. The Poisson distribution assumes events are independent and random, but this guy clearly angered the probability gods. Props to whoever built that phone-holding apparatus though—that's some serious engineering dedication to a math joke. Lambda would be proud! 📞📊