Behold, the million-dollar P vs NP problem solved on a Notes app! Nothing says "mathematical breakthrough" like canceling out variables until you get "equals = N ○" and concluding "The answer is No." This is what happens when you let computer scientists do math after their third espresso. The Clay Mathematics Institute is frantically trying to figure out how to transfer that $1,000,000 prize to a Notes app account. Meanwhile, cryptographers worldwide just breathed a collective sigh of relief that their encryption isn't broken by this groundbreaking "proof."