Missing mass Memes

The eternal cosmic mystery meeting: someone points out we can't account for most of the universe's mass, and three physicists immediately propose wildly different solutions. One suggests "just call it dark matter" (the scientific equivalent of labeling a folder "misc stuff" and shoving it in a drawer). Another jumps to multiverse theory faster than you can say "grant proposal." The third suggests maybe—just maybe—we should check our math first. The boss's reaction is every PI who's watched their theoretical physics meeting devolve into existential screaming. That window-throwing energy is what happens after the 47th time someone says "but what if spacetime is actually..."