Cosmic inflation Memes

Physics has all these elegant equations describing reality, but cosmic inflation? That's just "Rule 34" - if it exists, there's an equation for it. The universe expanded faster than my grad students disappear when there are dishes in the lab sink. Those fancy formulas scattered across space are just physicists showing off that they can make the universe's expansion look mathematically sexy. Meanwhile, dark energy is sitting in the corner like "you haven't even figured me out yet, amateurs."