Arcseconds Memes

Just imagine—a parallel universe where we named time units after angles instead of arbitrary divisions. That futuristic utopia exists because someone realized that the Earth rotates precisely 1/86400th of a full circle (15 arcseconds) each second. Instead of suffering through daylight savings twice a year, we'd be living in gleaming cities with flying cars and solving cold fusion on napkins during lunch breaks. But no, we had to stick with "seconds" like primitive animals. The 1,296,000,000 arcseconds (15 days) I've spent contemplating this missed opportunity are scientifically proven to have accelerated my hair loss.