Academic writing Memes

The eternal struggle of science textbooks: stating the blindingly obvious with the gravitas of revealing the secrets of the universe. Nothing quite like spending $200 on a book that dramatically declares "water is wet" as if Newton himself just whispered it from beyond the grave. Graduate students have been known to develop a twitch from repeatedly reading phrases like "it is trivially shown that..." right before three pages of incomprehensible equations. The author probably giggled while writing this, knowing full well we'd be sobbing at 3 AM trying to understand why something so "obvious" requires sixteen references and a PhD to comprehend.

The MAGNIFICENT TRANSFORMATION from clueless researcher to scholarly wordsmith! In the top panel, our bear friend admits the raw, unfiltered truth we're all thinking: "I don't know anything about this." But BEHOLD! In the bottom panel, dressed in academic finery, the same confession undergoes a glorious metamorphosis into: "This is beyond the scope of this paper." It's the academic equivalent of saying "I have no idea" while wearing a monocle and sipping tea with your pinky out! Every researcher on the planet has performed this linguistic alchemy at least 17 times per manuscript. The sacred art of saying absolutely nothing with SPECTACULAR eloquence!