How Do You Do, Fellow Engineers?

Physics professors don't just break your brain—they break the laws of intuition too. This tension-based nightmare is basically Newton having a laugh at our expense. The buckets aren't supporting the table; they're actually pulling it down while the strings create an equal and opposite upward force. It's like telling students "gravity works both ways" and watching their souls leave their bodies. This is the kind of setup that makes freshmen switch majors to business after one lecture.

Behold, the pinnacle of American exceptionalism—where even our units of measurement scream freedom! 🦅 The left side shows the perfect rationality of the US system: Fahrenheit (where 0° is the coldest temperature recorded in Danzig in 1708, obviously), dates written as "July 4th 1776" (because freedom), and measurements that are all conveniently 100 (inches, feet, etc.). Meanwhile, the rest of the world wallows in the "chaos" of Celsius (based on silly things like water's freezing point), writes dates in a logical progression (day/month/year), and uses measurements based on powers of 10. Nothing says "scientific superiority" quite like refusing to adopt the International System of Units that literally every other country uses. Who needs standardization when you can have 5,280 feet in a mile? That's just good old American innovation!

The first question on this physics exam is straight out of Monty Python! Instead of asking about projectile motion or Newton's laws, they're inquiring about swallow velocities. The student's response is pure gold—instant surrender with crying emojis and wilted roses. That moment when you realize your entire engineering future is being derailed by obscure British comedy references. The professor clearly has a twisted sense of humor... or maybe they're testing who actually watched the Holy Grail during "educational movie night." Either way, F = ma, but F also equals Failed if you can't calculate medieval ornithological aerodynamics!

Someone's fighting entropy with brute force! Those two AC units blasting cold air outside while that black-covered window traps heat inside is like watching someone bail water into a sinking boat. The second law of thermodynamics is crying in the corner. Heat will always find a way to spread, no matter how many cooling units you throw at the problem. Might as well try to organize a teenager's room by shoving everything under the bed and calling it "clean."

Dating your daughter? Better know your math memes! The list is pure math nerd gold—engineers using π = 3, the derivative of e x , and that sneaky 0 0 at the end. But the punchline hits harder than a calculus final on Monday morning. Math humor gatekeeping at its finest! The reference to r/unexpectedfactorial is especially brilliant—where innocent numbers like 5! suddenly become 120. The kind of joke that separates the math majors from the "I use calculators for 7×8" crowd.

The physicist's sacred mantra: simplify until reality breaks. Need to calculate a car's motion? Just draw a rectangle with an arrow. Human falling off a cliff? That's a dot with velocity. The "free body diagram" is basically our way of saying "I refuse to acknowledge the messy complexity of existence." We reduce everything to its mathematical essence, then act surprised when students ask why their box-car won't start. It's not laziness—it's elegant approximation. And if you disagree, you're probably just another box I haven't labeled yet.