One In A Hundred Million

This flowchart is what happens when career counselors have a mental breakdown. Engineering? Only if you're "good with things." Chemistry? Congratulations on your future as a "fussy pedant." And let's not forget Computer Science, perfect for those who prefer "slow, indirect evil" over the more efficient varieties. The beautiful part is how it nails the existential crisis of every STEM student. "Why do you want to major in a STEM field?" Options include "curiosity" (adorable), "to save the planet" (delusional), or my personal favorite, the dawning realization that STEM was supposed to involve actual plants for Biology majors. After 30 years of teaching, I can confirm this is approximately 87% accurate. The missing 13% is the path where you choose your major based on which department has the least uncomfortable chairs in the lecture hall.

This is peak plant biology humor right here! The meme brilliantly compares Sauron's fiery Eye from Lord of the Rings with a microscopic plant stomate (those tiny pores plants use for gas exchange). Under a microscope, stomates DO look eerily like the Eye of Sauron with their oval opening surrounded by guard cells. Biology grad students everywhere are snorting coffee through their noses right now because after staring at plant cells for 12 straight hours, the resemblance becomes uncanny. When your research has you seeing Dark Lords in plant tissues, you know you've reached peak science delirium!

The ultimate microbial flex. Anaerobic bacteria looking at oxygen-breathing organisms like we're the weird ones. Sure, we evolved to use the most abundant oxidizing agent on Earth's surface, but these bacterial hipsters were metabolizing just fine before oxygen was mainstream. They're basically saying "Imagine needing the thing that literally rusts metal to survive." Meanwhile, they're over there fermenting and reducing sulfates like it's 3 billion BCE.

When the cell membrane catches a phospholipid trying to flip from one layer to the other without using proper transport proteins... 🚨 FLIPPASE POLICE! 🚨 That phospholipid thought it could just casually cross the membrane bilayer on its own? Rookie mistake. The hydrophilic head can't just yeet itself through the hydrophobic core without enzymatic assistance. That's why we have flippase enzymes - nature's bouncers keeping the asymmetry of your membrane intact since 3.5 billion years ago. Trust me, I've seen phospholipids try this move in my 40 years of cell biology. They always get caught. Membrane integrity is no joke - unless you're an anime character in a hazmat suit, apparently.

Revenge served in a soup bowl. Drawing your own blood to feed mosquitoes is taking "controlled experiment" to a new level of personal sacrifice. The irony is that female mosquitoes actually need blood proteins for egg production, so you're essentially offering them a buffet while telling them to stop coming to your restaurant. Classic case of mixed messaging in interspecies communication.

Remember when your ancestors decided to take a "quick dip" in the primordial waters? Just a "20-minute adventure" they said... Fast forward 50 million years and now you're a whale driving a car and making whale noises. Classic evolution prank! This meme brilliantly captures how tetrapods (four-limbed creatures) first ventured onto land from the sea, only for some mammals to eventually return to the ocean and evolve into cetaceans like whales. Talk about the ultimate evolutionary U-turn! Your great-great-great-(add 50 million more greats)-grandparents would be so confused right now.