Blood Types Don't Lie

Imagine being a fish during the Devonian Period (419-359 million years ago) and looking at land like it's free real estate! This fishy fellow is basically saying "Hey, nobody's using those legs yet... DIBS!" The Devonian was when our finned ancestors were just starting to experiment with limbs, but hadn't quite figured out the whole "walking" thing. It's like evolution was playing "The Floor is Lava" but everyone was still stuck in the water! That empty ecological niche was just waiting for someone brave enough to flop their way onto shore and claim those sweet, sweet terrestrial resources. Talk about a ground-floor opportunity in evolutionary real estate!

Ever wondered if you could taste science? This hilarious guide breaks down which scientific disciplines you should (or definitely should NOT) lick! Chemistry's emphatic "NO!!!!!" is spot on because, well, acids and bases aren't exactly tongue-friendly. Herpetology's "bad plan BAD PLAN" had me crying—imagine licking a venomous snake for science! 😂 The zoology entry flips the script brilliantly: "In zoology, science licks YOU." Meanwhile, epidemiology's desperate plea "FOR THE SAKE OF THE WORLD PLEASE DO NOT" feels especially relevant after recent years! Computer scientists apparently debug with their tongues—who knew that's what the 9V battery test was really training us for? My favorite might be geology's honest assessment: "Sometimes needed. Sometimes dangerous." Rock identification does occasionally involve the tongue test (for certain minerals), but licking uranium? Hard pass!

The professor who wrote these exam instructions is an absolute savage! 😂 That "pray to God" advice for unprepared students hits harder than a centrifuge at maximum speed. The "don't smile at your neighbor" rule is peak academic paranoia - because nothing says "cheating" like basic human friendliness! And my favorite: "questions are compulsory here" - as if anyone thought they were browsing a biology buffet where you can skip the mitochondria if you're not feeling it today. This is what happens when professors stop pretending college isn't traumatic!

The cognitive dissonance is strong with this one. Humans will refuse free preventative medicine backed by decades of research, then happily consume antibiotics—which do absolutely nothing for viral infections like those causing most headaches—without a second thought. The irony being that antibiotic resistance is a genuine scientific crisis while vaccines are just sitting there, proven and effective, waiting to be used. It's like refusing a free umbrella then buying a hairdryer to fix getting wet in the rain.

The only creature that can both slay on Instagram and literally slay its mate! The female praying mantis embodies today's impossible beauty standards while casually decapitating her lover during sexy time. Talk about "till death do us part" — except she's the one serving divorce papers... with her mandibles. Nature's original black widow, except with more style and less subtlety. Evolution really said, "Make her gorgeous, but make her terrifying."

Classic case of confirmation bias in action. The brain, tasked with voting for the "best organ," overwhelmingly selects itself. Of course it would—it's literally counting the votes. Poor spleen sitting at 2% wondering what it did wrong besides filtering blood and fighting infections. Meanwhile, the urethra somehow got more votes than the spleen. The brain's ego is showing, but I suppose when you're responsible for consciousness itself, you develop a certain smugness about your importance. Just don't tell the heart—it might take it personally and stop pumping blood to prove a point.