The Nobel Prize Proximity Effect

Poor benzene. The molecular equivalent of being tagged in unflattering photos by thousands of undergrads every semester. That perfect hexagonal structure with its delightful pi bonds reduced to some misshapen polygon that looks like it was drawn during an earthquake. No wonder it appears so dejected! Chemistry professors worldwide have nightmares about the benzene rings they'll have to decipher on tomorrow's exams. It's not a circle with three lines inside. It's not a hexagon with random double bonds. It's a beautiful, symmetrical, aromatic masterpiece that deserves better than being butchered by students who spent more time memorizing the lyrics to "The Elements" song than learning to draw basic structures.

Someone spent hours crafting a portrait of Carl Friedrich Gauss using parametric equations, only to casually admit "blatantly stolen from wolfram alpha btw." The mathematical flex is real—creating Gauss's face with the very tools he helped pioneer. It's like painting Einstein with E=mc² or drawing Darwin with evolutionary algorithms. The confession at the end is just *chef's kiss*—peak mathematician humor where the crime is admitted in the footnotes, just like how we all cite sources after "borrowing" entire theoretical frameworks.

The most rebellious mathematical proof ever! Instead of using fancy theorems or complex equations, this mathematician just declares "This is lame" as a legitimate contradiction! 😂 It's like saying "I don't like this universe where 0 isn't a natural number, so I'm creating a new one!" Pure mathematical anarchy! The best part? Ending with "Q.E.D." (which means "thus it has been demonstrated") as if they just proved Fermat's Last Theorem instead of basically saying "math without zero is boring, therefore I win."

Someone wrote a fake math problem with backwards radical signs (√) that look like an "F" to trick math whizzes! The equation √27 - √12 over √75 isn't actually solvable as written because those aren't real radical symbols—they're just backwards Fs! The genius part? It's designed to make math people frantically try to solve it before realizing they've been bamboozled. Poor A-level math student fell right into the trap while Alison saw through the nonsense immediately! It's basically the mathematical equivalent of asking someone to find Waldo in a picture where there is no Waldo. Pure evil genius! 😂

Shocking revelation: studying made-up math fields doesn't lead to employment. Who would've thought that "Transdimensional Eigen-Pigeondih Topology" wasn't on Indeed's most-wanted skills list? That face is every pure mathematician realizing their thesis on abstract nonsense won't pay the rent. The academic-to-unemployment pipeline is functioning perfectly. Next semester's hot course: "How to Convert Theoretical Knowledge into Actual Currency 101."

Let's cut the inspirational BS about "changing the world" and "solving grand challenges." Mr. Krabs here just articulated what 90% of engineering students won't admit during those lofty admission interviews. Four years of differential equations, sleepless nights, and caffeine addiction aren't fueled by dreams of building bridges—they're fueled by dreams of building bank accounts. The brutal honesty is refreshing in a field where everyone pretends they're the next Tony Stark when really they just want Tony Stark's mansion.