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The great American measurement rebellion continues! While the rest of the scientific world peacefully measures speed in kilometers per hour, our friends across the pond have developed their own proprietary system involving pastries and national birds. Converting from metric? Preposterous! Why use internationally standardized units when you could calculate velocity using the ratio of fried confectionery to endangered avian symbols? The expression of pure disgust on that penguin's face is basically every scientist who's ever had to convert units for an American colleague. Next time you're driving 100 km/h, just remember that's approximately 47.3 glazed donuts per bald eagle, depending on wind resistance and patriotism levels.