Wordcount Memes

The linguistic evolution of academic desperation! From casual chat's "Can't" to formal email's "I cannot," but when that word count needs serious padding, suddenly you're channeling 18th-century philosophers with "Henceforth, I am unable to can." It's the scientific method of BS - observe word count requirements, hypothesize excessive verbiage, experiment with thesaurus abuse, and conclude with unnecessarily elaborate expressions. Every 500 words added earns you one extra archaic adverb!